Children feel an array of emotions, just like we do.
They experience sadness when a toy breaks, disappointment when plans change, anger when they are treated unfairly and gratitude when someone shows them kindness. But unlike adults they don’t always know and aren’t taught how to manage these feelings.
Especially in the early years, when children are just beginning to identify their emotions and understand the world around them, building coping skills lays the foundation for emotional well-being. And for children with different needs; such as those who are neurodivergent or have sensory processing sensitivities, developing these tools becomes even more essential. These skills shape how children experience the world around them.
Coping helps children feel grounded, safe in their bodies, and empowered to respond rather than react.
Why Early Coping Skills Matter
Coping is deeply linked with resilience – the ability to bounce back after challenges. As Masten (2014) highlights it; while resilience often gets celebrated as a strength, it doesn’t grow in isolation. It’s built on everyday experiences, relationships and coping strategies that kids turn to, to manage their stress. They help children navigate disappointments, transitions, overstimulation, social situations, and the emotional ups and downs that are part of growing up.
The early years is when children begin to understand the connection between their feelings, thoughts, and behaviour which makes them especially critical for developing emotional regulation. However, many children don’t have the language to explain what they’re feeling yet, which can result in meltdowns, withdrawal, or physical reactions like hitting or running away.
In many Indian households, children grow up hearing the phrase: “Log kya kahengey?” (What will people say?). This message, though often well-intended, can teach children to suppress emotions rather than understand them. They may learn to hide sadness, deny fear or anxiousness, or bottle up anger in an attempt to maintain a “good image” for others. But emotions don’t disappear when they are hidden, they grow heavier.
Teaching coping doesn’t mean preventing kids from ever feeling frustrated, angry, sad, or overwhelmed. Instead, it means giving them age-appropriate tools so they can recognise what’s happening inside them and respond in ways that feel manageable and safe.
One Size Doesn’t Fit All
For neurodivergent children or those with sensory sensitivities, common coping strategies like “taking a deep breath” may not always be helpful. These children may benefit from more tailored tools that help them feel safe in their bodies – like pressure-based support, movement breaks, or fidget tools. The key is to observe, listen, and introduce strategies one step at a time, helping the child explore what works for them. As explored in the blog Square Peg in a Round Hole: No One-Size-Fits-All, emotional expression looks different for every child, and coping tools should too.
It’s also important to remember that coping looks different for every child. What soothes one child may not help another and that’s okay. Just like we all have different learning styles, children respond to emotional tools in different ways. The goal is to build a personal “toolbox” that grows with the child.
How to Start: Coping Strategies That Work
Coping strategies are most effective when they’re taught before a child is overwhelmed.
Increased stress can severely impair a child’s ability to absorb new information or apply learned skills in their everyday [Shonkoff and Phillips (2000)]. So, introduce coping strategies during calm, regulated moments. Set up opportunities for children to practice and internalise these when they can be receptive, feel safe and are open to learning.
Here are a few starter ideas:
1. Name the emotion
Young children often feel emotions before they understand them. Helping them label what they’re feeling is the first step towards calming down.
Using visuals, emotion cards, or mirrors can be great tools, especially for younger or non-verbal children. But don’t stop at naming, define the emotion in a way that makes sense to that child.
For example: Angry means your body feels hot and heavy inside. Or I see your face is red and you are banging your fists on the table, I wonder if you are angry?
2. Use the Body as a Guide – body scan
Teach children to notice what emotions feel like in their bodies. Ask: “Where do you feel this?” or “What does your body feel like when you’re nervous?”
This builds body awareness and empowers children to catch emotions early. For kids with sensory needs, body scans using weighted objects, movement, or soft textures can help create safety and grounding.
3. Create a Coping Space
While a “calm corner” with sensory tools and soft lighting can be helpful, children can also learn to cope right where they are, without feeling the need to leave an activity using simple tools like fidgets or quiet journaling (with resources like Resilience Journal Prompts or a Coping checklist).
4. Practice Breathing or Movement Together
Instead of just saying “calm down,” practice fun, playful breathing or movement activities:
Blow pretend bubbles
Do “starfish breathing” by tracing fingers
Try animal walks or stretching for active regulation
For some kids, movement-based coping (animal walks, stretching, jumping) may help more than stillness.
5. Use Visual Coping Menus
Offer children choices using visuals:
“Would you like to squeeze a pillow, take a breath, or go to the calm corner?” Letting kids choose helps them feel more in control; even when emotions are big. Autonomy can be calming in itself.
6. Model and Name Your Own Coping
Children learn most through observation. Try saying: “I’m feeling a bit overwhelmed, so I’m going to take three breaths and drink some water.” This models self-awareness and makes coping a normal part of daily life.
7. Practice Replacing Unhelpful Thoughts
Sometimes, children internalise rigid thoughts like “I must do this perfectly” or “Everyone has to like me.”
These thoughts can create pressure, shame, and stress. Teaching children to reframe unhelpful or rigid thinking is a powerful coping strategy that builds flexibility and emotional regulation.
A simple way to do this is to help them notice the thought, pause, and then replace it with a more kind or realistic version.
Thought Replacement Table
| Instead of thinking | Try thinking |
| “I must do this perfectly.” | “I’ll try my best, and that’s okay.” |
| “Everyone has to like me.” | “Not everyone will, and that’s normal.” |
| “I have to finish this now.” | “I can take a break and come back later.” |
| “I always mess up.” | “Everyone makes mistakes when they are learning.” |
Helpful Apps for Coping Skills in Children
Breathe, Think, Do with Sesame (Ages 4–8)
A free app by Sesame Street that teaches problem-solving and emotional regulation using interactive stories and breathing techniques.
Moshi: Sleep and Mindfulness (Ages 4+)
A soothing app with calming audio stories, breathing exercises, and meditations designed for children to relax and cope with stress.
Coping is something children learn and build daily, in quiet moments that go unnoticed, big feelings, and everything in between. Let’s keep walking beside them as they grow.
We’re here to support you through every step.
Contact us: reachout@kidable.in or +91 9266688705
